When I look back there was a
child dull enough but passionately obedient. He had no worries. All that
matters in his life was doing things that will make him happy. He enjoyed his
life in his own way. He was proud and determined because there was a force behind
him that always pushed him up. Though, certainly, he lacked in many
fields-particular studies. Fortunately it was not a yardstick in the eyes of
his beloved, giving him the satisfaction that he was on the right track.
Fortunately or unfortunately-we
move on-no matter what we really want. The child became a lad. Now his
surrounding was forcing him to change his way of thinking. He was competitive
by nature-an inherited trait. They demanded from him a good score in exams-the
reason-was to get an admission in the best institute. He obeyed just to be
enrolled in that institute. After that he turned his attention to his own way
of living-proudly and boldly deciding what he thinks was best for him. In those
days, he took a decision that could be called as his First Rebellion-not to
follow the set standards of society.
He can't deny that there were
other factors, directly or indirectly, forcing him to opt for this rebellion. After
few years he was unable to judge the accuracy of his decision. Still he stood
by his decision, it was his determination that guided him in those years. He
believed, even if his decision is not the right one, he will make it one. Days
went by turning into years without any meaningful success. Consequently, critiques
got voice loud enough to reach his ears. Doubting his credibility, criticizing him for his boldness, abruptness
and recklessness.
Those who stood by his side in
all those years were there to aid and help. They advised him to stand with
righteousness; there determination always helped him. But he was not satisfied
with himself-there was something missing. It was the desired result of his rebellion.
He was told that his efforts matter at the end of the day-but somewhere in his heart
he didn't believe in it.
He is now on a juncture where he
will not be called a lad but someone who is not fit in that category. He was told
to be a man. It was a charming idea-to be on the helm of affairs. Now he can realize
that the burden and pain attached with power was attracting him in the first
place. The power, he defined it, in term of implicating and absolving pain on
others. Now he has the power but also accountable to himself. He can make it
worse but there is a force that hold his reigns. It is the morality.
How it will end up? It is yet to
be seen. At the moment, he is an amalgamation of multiple school of thoughts.
As other find him in a position where he hasn't started his journey.
